Loving BDSM’s 30 Days of D/s – Day 15 (Maintaining D/s When You’re Apart)
Long distance relationships, trips without your partner, simply not living together – it all adds up to one thing: being D/s even when you’re not together. The solution you find for your relationship will be specific to you and to your circumstances, but if you’re already living through a long distance relationship or you think you might one day, it’s good to think about how to make it work when you’re apart.
Garrick and I have always been long distance, DK and I were long distance with time together, and CSM and I had periods when he was gone for work and we were long distance so this is a topic that I feel comfortable with. The thing to remember here is commitment on both parts is needed. If only one of you is committed to making it work then your relationship will be doomed to failure.
However, if both partners are committed to putting in the work, then there is nothing that can stand in your way. You can set times for LD dates where you both pick up take out and watch a movie together via sync watching online. You can enjoy a bubble while while he is working by simply having your skype or video up while he has his own. A lot of times people think that you have to always be talking…sometimes it’s nice to have the other person on just to have them with you same as if they were in the other room working on something.
You can also end your day together every night either watching a movie together or simply leaving your video or phone call open so as to allow you to hear each other during the night. While you’re not TOGETHER physically, it will bond and connect you in an emotional way that can be beat.
A lot of times, being long distance with someone can create an added closeness for a couple. The distance allows you to take the time to think about your questions, to ask them, exchange them in emails…it also gives you the chance to work on being open and vulnerable to another person that you may not experience if you were together and seeing each other every day.