Loving BDSM’s 30 Days of D/s – Day 14 (What Kind of Rules Do You Want?)
A Dominant may set the rules, but a submissive has to agree to them. Submissives may have an idea in their head what they need, but their Dominant might see another way of accomplishing the same goal. Rules are a part of the vast majority of D/s relationships from small to big.
Some rules determine behavior in public, others are about private behavior. Some rules may be more common but there’s no right or wrong here. Do you know what kind of rules you may want or need in your relationship?
Am I the only one who read “rules” and got wet and achy? There is something about having a rule to do something, doing it and then hearing “Good Girl” afterwards that just makes you feel like you have conquered the world! Rules make me feel loved, cared for, safe….the structure of them provides security for me, tells me what happens when.
If I were to have my way, I would have rules for structure, protocols, behaviors during “bratty” times (Giggle)…in fact, right now to help me lose weight I have to ask Garrick permission to eat snacks and junk food.
As much as I say that I would love to have rules for everything, I also know that rules take a lot of dedication not just from the sub obeying them but also the Daddy/Dom/Master who has to enforce them. Therefore we as Little’s/subs need to be mindful that while we may WANT rules, sometimes our Daddy/Dom/Master may say no to our request if he/she knows that they cannot enforce them. It’s one of their annoying qualities.
We also need to ask ourselves “is this something that I can do/maintain” when asking for/requesting a rule from our Daddy/Dom/Master. If we know that we won’t ask before we eat something, then don’t ask our Daddy/Dom/Master to help us with this. If we know that we are not going to go to bed on time no matter how many reminders he gives us, then we should not agree to it.
Something that I’ve learned along my journey…rules aren’t always just for the sub. The last time I was working to use weight and Garrick gave me the “ask for Pepsi and snacks/junk food” rule, I lost 10 lbs. Being the awesome Daddy that he was then, he also restricted his Pepsi and junk food as well. In fact, we once had a conversation where he shared with me that sometimes enforcing a rule for his Little also helps him to be/do better himself. So when your Daddy says “We will go to bed at 10 ever night” know that not only does he want YOU to get good rest, but he himself is getting it as well.
If you watch closely, a lot of times you will see that Daddy/Dom/Master’s practice the “Do as I say and do” versus the “Do as I say and not as I do” philosophy.