Loving BDSM’s 30 Days of D/s – Day 13 (How Do You Feel About Pain?)
Let us be clear, in D/s, pain isn’t a requirement. You don’t have to be a masochist or a sadist to be D/s. But it’s always good to have an idea of where you stand on the subject.
As a submissive, would you consent to a painful spanking as punishment? As a Dominant, do you want to inflict pain on your submissive? Does the idea of it turn you on or off?
There are no right answers with this one, but because it’s so common, it’s worth thinking about.
I will ALWAYS tell you that I am NOT a pain slut….the idea of being hit with a closed fist or whipped to the point where it opens my skin and I’m bleeding…no, that is not something that I would consent to. It’s a hard limit for me.
However, I can’t deny that I am aroused by the feeling of a bare hand warming my bottom. The way it feels to feel his bare hand connecting to my bottom, skin growing pinker and hits getting stronger to the point where your breathe catches and “ouch” comes out….not stop or quit because you don’t want it to end. This type of pain makes me wet and achy and crave to be touched and used sexually.
When I first came to the lifestyle and would watch CSM yielding a whip or flogger I would get aroused by the sight but was TERRIFIED at the thought of them hitting my skin. No matter how much he would try to explain the relation of pain in play….I could not get past it. I just saw it as something that “would be” painful and avoided it. However, as I’ve attended events and made friends I can see the error in my thinking.
As I’ve explored and learned, I’ve found that pain does arouse me and make me wet. Not closed fist hitting, drawing blood whipping but the warming of skin and slow increase of pain to where your brain stops THINKING and you are floating on a wave of pleasure.
However, I’ve also found that having my mental boundaries pushed causes the same connection and effect for me as well….which is something that I am hoping to explore more of.