Loving BDSM’s 30 Days of D/s – Day 10 (What is Your Safeword?)
So, the question today is, what’s your safeword? If you don’t want to have one, why not?
Safewords, how many times have I heard people say that they trust their Dom, Daddy, Master SO MUCH that they didn’t need one? TO MANY! For me personally, it’s the sign of a good Dom, Daddy, Master when they ASK you what your word is or before a scene tell you to use the Green, Yellow, Red system. It tells me that they VALUE not only YOU safety and well being but theirs as well.
No Dom, Daddy, Master WANTS to cause serious pain to their sub/slave/little. They don’t want to do something that takes away/degrades your trust in them. They WANT you to know that if things get to much that they will stop. It’s also a means for the Dom, Daddy, Master to build trust in their sub/slave/little. That they will use this word when they feel unsafe, insecure, or scared. That they TRUST their Dom, Daddy, Master.
How do you relax yourself into the care of another when they haven’t asked what your safeword is? You can’t. You have to keep your mind “present” and focused so that YOU can ensure that you are not hurt or harmed. Should you submit to a person who doesn’t care enough about your safety to establish this up front? For me, it’s not a no but a YELL NO.
One last thing, safe words aren’t just for when your in a play scene, they can be used during your conversations as well. When your having a difficult time expressing yourself and don’t know HOW to say “I need a minute to form my thoughts” or “this line of conversation scares me” you can use your safe word as a way of letting your Dom, Daddy, Master know that you need a minute or that your scared or frightened and need him to hold you while you think.
My safe word is Purple…for the Purple wonder Prince and for my Raven’s. However, I have used the Red, yellow, green at the start of a relationship as well.