Writing Prompts - 30 Days of D/s

30 Days of D/s – Day 10 (What is Your Safeword?)

Loving BDSM’s 30 Days of D/s – Day 10 (What is Your Safeword?)

So, the question today is, what’s your safeword? If you don’t want to have one, why not?

Safewords, how many times have I heard people say that they trust their Dom, Daddy, Master SO MUCH that they didn’t need one?  TO MANY!  For me personally, it’s the sign of a good Dom, Daddy, Master when they ASK you what your word is or before a scene tell you to use the Green, Yellow, Red system.  It tells me that they VALUE not only YOU safety and well being but theirs as well.

No Dom, Daddy, Master WANTS to cause serious pain to their sub/slave/little.  They don’t want to do something that takes away/degrades your trust in them.  They WANT you to know that if things get to much that they will stop.  It’s also a means for the Dom, Daddy, Master to build trust in their sub/slave/little.  That they will use this word when they feel unsafe, insecure, or scared.  That they TRUST their Dom, Daddy, Master.

How do you relax yourself into the care of another when they haven’t asked what your safeword is?  You can’t.  You have to keep your mind “present” and focused so that YOU can ensure that you are not hurt or harmed.  Should you submit to a person who doesn’t care enough about your safety to establish this up front?  For me, it’s not a no but a YELL NO.

One last thing, safe words aren’t just for when your in a play scene, they can be used during your conversations as well.  When your having a difficult time expressing yourself and don’t know HOW to say “I need a minute to form my thoughts” or “this line of conversation scares me” you can use your safe word as a way of letting your Dom, Daddy, Master know that you need a minute or that your scared or frightened and need him to hold you while you think.

My safe word is Purple…for the Purple wonder Prince and for my Raven’s.  However, I have used the Red, yellow, green at the start of a relationship as well.

As before, I invite you to share your thoughts below or to visit the Loving BDSM website and join the 30 Days of D/s journey




10 thoughts on “30 Days of D/s – Day 10 (What is Your Safeword?)

  1. Great advice!
    No matter how long or how well you’ve known each other safe words can be a really positive thing in your D/s relationship.
    Why? Because they free you both up to explore, to try things you’ve never done together before.
    And, trust me, the thrill of trying new things NEVER gets old!


    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you and I can’t agree more!!! It’s always nice to find yourself exploring a new side/depth to a relationship as you grow and learn each other.


  2. We don’t really have a safewords system in our relationship, but Sir always asks if I’m ok, if that’s what I want. If I express too much pain or tell him to stop, he does. I think when our play becomes more intense, a system will develop. For now, we’ve been together almost 9 years and we’re pretty good at reading each other.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. It becomes an ongoing conversation, especially if its something I’m not sure of. If he suggests something thst I’m not sure of, I tell him and he asks me why. We discuss the fears and limits of what’s being suggested and come to a mutual conclusion of trying it altogether, trying it through baby steps and working up to it, or holding off on the suggested until we can further discuss it. Sometimes it’s hard to communicate verbally, especially because we have a small child in the home, so if its something really important, we will actually text each other. It helps both of us figure out the right words to express how we feel.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. That is so cool! I wish that I could say that I can always use my words to express my fears but in truth, I can’t and it’s something that I’m working on.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Honestly, sometimes I have to have a good cry first haha it helps clear my head. Sometimes Sir just holds me until my brain is calm enough to form somewhat coherent sentences. It’s been something I’ve been working on for a very long time. You’ll get there!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. The longer JB and I have been together, the less we rely on a safe word. But we still have one – we use the red, yellow, green system but he knows me well enough that I can say “no” and he knows whether I need him to stop or it’s part of play. And he always errs on the side of caution.

    Liked by 1 person

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