Writing Prompts - 30 Days of D/s

30 Days of D/s – Day 09 (Let’s Talk Limits)

Loving BDSM’s 30 Days of D/s – Day 09 (Let’s Talk Limits)

Do you know what your hard limits are? Are there a few things you’d like to try but you’re a little nervous? They’re such a big part of D/s and kink, it’s never a bad idea to think about them no matter where you are in your relationship.

When I first started my journey, I was SO SURE that I knew what my hard limits were:

  • No pain
  • No bodily fluid (scat, urine, blood)
  • Rope play
  • Fisting
  • Roleplay of a sexual nature
  • No children or animals
  • No group sex

And then one day I read a blog post by a Master and his slave about what Golden Showers meant to both of them.  For him, it wasn’t just erotic, it was meaningful, and it wasn’t about him pissing on her to piss on her…it was him MARKING her as his property.

For her, it was about him giving her a gift of his mark and his scent upon her skin.  She talked about how it was something she NEVER thought she would crave or want and how in placing her trust in him, he had pushed her limits to a place where she could no longer see the woman she had been before him or could imagine ever being happier.

I must have read that post 20 times letting it marinate in my mind….accepting that what we THINK something is, isn’t always what it is.  That sometimes, trust in our partner can change something from a “hard” limit, to a soft limit, to a no limit.  There is a reason why we communicate honestly with each other, why we share our kinks and desires, and why a D/s relationship is always evolving and when your both committed can evolve into something that changes you both.

It made me open my eyes to the fact that things aren’t always as I saw them and I saw myself being open to trying things.  When Garrick came into my life not longer after…he showed me that the more I opened myself to his dominance the stronger I felt in my submission and the more things looked less scary and terrifying.  I came to a point where I could admit that I crave some pain, that I am Little and enjoy the thrill of not knowing and being pushed outside of your comfort limits.

Garrick use to give me assignments to research different kinks and then challenge me to share my TRUE thoughts, no matter how scary they were.  The first time I watched a fisting video and became aroused….OMG it was HORRIBLE trying to describe to him the way that it made me feel but it also blew my mind that I could see myself wanting that.

Over the years…I’ve tried things that were once on my “hard limit” and admitted that others are more “solid” limits till I have built the right amount of trust.  With this said, I HAVE to add that some things will ALWAYS be a hard NO limit, such as anything dealing with underage children but that is more about my moral belief where others were just my fear ruling my choices and decisions.

As before, I invite you to share your thoughts below or to visit the Loving BDSM website and join the 30 Days of D/s journey



7 thoughts on “30 Days of D/s – Day 09 (Let’s Talk Limits)

  1. I loved reading this, Selina! You share your growth with D/s so openly and it makes total sense to me how at one point, something might seem like a hard limit, but that it could change over time and with growth in submission. Thank you for sharing 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  2. You guys are making me blush! lol. I have some hard limits. But most are soft or non-existent. There are things I “think” I want to try. There are things that scare me but I might still try. But there are a few I will never entertain–the most strenuous objections involve underage people. Not in this lifetime!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’ve found over the years that my limits change and flow depending on the person, and level of trust I have with that person. While I may be comfortable doing X with person A, I would not with person B. You have to have that trust, you have to be ‘safe’ with that person in order to to explore these things. Even as a Dom, I need to know I am safe with you in doing these things. Limits help establish that feeling of safety, but I rely on you keeping your promise to use your safe word if things go to far.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think this is why our bond has grown so strong…your insistence that I share everything…good and bad and your leading example that we can over come anything said/done in truth and honesty. I feel so blessed to have you in my life still!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. This is in line with a lot of my own discoveries. Sometimes (but not always) our unwillingness to consider a thing is fear or lack of knowledge of it. But it’s also about trust. I can do more for JB out of trust alone than any other reason. ☺️

    Liked by 1 person

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