Tonight I received the following message from my “Contact Me”…
why keep seein mr good night if he is such a shitty dom?
why not move on to someone new?
does he know u blog? if so why doesn’t he comment?
Let me start by saying I’ve NEVER said that he is a shitty Dom nor would I EVER say that about him. He is really a very nice guy. I’m sorry if the ramblings of my mind lead you to think that but trust and believe that I would not invest time into someone who was.
What I can tell you is that he is a very caring man who does go out of his way to meet my needs. When I was in a down period and couldn’t pull myself back out, he cared for me and gave me the relief that I needed.
He has NEVER said that he was a Daddy Dom or that it was even a role that he was willing to take on and yet, he gave me a coloring book and color pencils for Easter, and he is thoughtful in his dealings with my stuffie.
He was honest with me up front that
- He didn’t feel ready to commit to starting a relationship with me
- That he desires a poly arrangement
- That we weren’t exclusive
At any time I have been free to throw up 2 fingers and say “I’m Out”. At any time I could have said that I’m going to pass and move on but I haven’t…because a part of me wanted to get to know him and has come to respect and trust him. I don’t always like the things that he says to me and I do get frustrated at times with the way that we communicate but those are things that fall back on me as a Little and my expectation of Now, Now, NOW.
As to why not move on….I focused on getting to know HIM because I saw a connection and wanted to explore it. Now that I know he is actively seeking other subs to get to know that tells me to keep the friendship and move on in my search for my Daddy Dom. We are free to continue our friends with benefits arrangement and that works for me.
As for my blog…I tell every guy that I actually start a relationship with about my blog and BEFORE I write about them, ask if it’s ok. So yes, he does know about it, I don’t think that he reads it as he has never said anything about anything I’ve written and no, I don’t see him commenting as he has a pretty hectic schedule that keeps him busy.
So all that to say, I don’t know what the future holds for me, but slow and steady wins the race and that is what I am trying to practice in taking my time to get to know Mr. Goodnight. While I’m giving my self time to get to know him as well, I’m also being realistic and paying attention to what he has told me rather than jumping to conclusions. I’ve asked my questions and we have had conversations…not in the heat of the moment but in calm and rational places and that is largely in part to his leadership in our interactions.
Sometimes, you meet someone who is a lot of what you are looking for but maybe your not what they are looking for. Maybe they aren’t in a place to be ready for you or need more time to get to know you. Either way, building a D/s relationship is like building the pyramids…slow and steady with one brick at a time. If you want something lasting, then give it time to grow and don’t rush. If it’s meant to be, then it will be….even if you make mistakes…you have time to back up and fix them before they get to be cracks in your foundation.
I don’t want to build a relationship with someone looking for quick and easy because lets face it…I’m not easy. I want strong and solid with a man who who takes me on eyes wide open and wants ALL of me in the good, the bad, the bratty and the sassy.