Selina forwared this comment to me and asked me to respond.
Comment: this is 4 Garrick
ive follwed this blog for a while adn wanted to ask
it seems you still have feelings for selina and she for you so why aren’t you together anymore?
was it hard to let her go and why come back after?
how do you go from being her Daddy to caretaker and not want to keep her for yourself? do you really want her to find a daddy or just stay yours?
asking cause i also have depression and walked away from my little but want her back and not sure how. how do you balance dark desire with a fragile little heart?
Why are we not together anymore? Timing, situation and my own fucked up sense of ethics. Had she and I met 10 years ago things would have been different, or at least I’d like to think they would be different. I am not sure how much she has shared about my situation but simply put I am married, and while I love and cherrish my wife, there’s something missing. When Sel and I met I was hoenst with her, stated up front that I was married and I wasn’t looking to leave my marriage. She accepted that at face value and we procceded to become friends, although obvisouly we moved beyond that. Does my wife know? No and my own set of messed up ethics keeps me focused on keeping my worlds seperate.
Was it hard to let her go? See that’s the thing, I never let her go as I still hold her ownership papers. As she’s mentioned before I suffer from depression, thankfully in the past year I seem to have gotten it under control, and when we parted I was deep into a very dark down cycle. I slept a lot, only had enough focus for work, I hid from everything else. I bluntly told Sel that I was drowning and stopped communicating with her.
Why come back? As I recall she either emailed me or called me to see how I was doing. I, well we in fact, realized that we missed the friendship part more than anything else so we set ground rules to keep our friendship alive. Over time however it just grew into what we have now. She needed advice and guidence, I needed to be needed in that way so it worked well for us both.
Daddy to Caretaker and other things. She and I had a conversation about it, she knew that I couldn’t give her the face to face Daddy she deserves, but that I would help keep her out of trouble, and guide her until she found the right Daddy to take over. As for the keeping her to myself and finding her a Daddy, again we talked about this, and while fitting in with some of my kinks, she doesn’t hide the fact she is with other boys.
As to your specific sutation Anon: Unfortunately the solution is far from a simple one, and its one you have to discover on your own. I am sorry if that seems lacking but it’s the simple truth. There are so many variables in your situation that I lack the understand of to even give you the help you need. About the only advice I can give you is just talk with her, show her your comment here and perhaps it will spark a conversation, but be parpared for her to be wary of you.
The balance of darkness and fragile hearts? Ah my friend this is a daily struggle, a constant self conversation I have every day. I have some rather dark kinks, and I suffer DomDrop, yes it’s a real thing, as a result of delving into them. What works for me? Meditation, yoga, writing, playing my guitar, you will need to find your own balance.
I hope this helped you Anon