D/s Dating · DaddyDom/Little's

Little Dating: Our expectations versus the real reality of the situation

As a Little, it’s easy for me to get overly excited about things.  Sometimes “overly excited” is even an understatement.  Talking to other Little’s, I’ve found that it can be the same for them as well.  We meet a guy, we feel a connection, he shares our thoughts/feelings and we are off and running!  An example of a Little imagining a new guy as the Daddy Dom that we’ve been looking for, think of a teenage girl writing a guys name all over her notebooks (yeah, I know I REALLY dated myself there *giggle*).  We are off and running to the races.

In all that thinking and imagining, there is something that we Little’s don’t stop to think about.  We don’t stop to ask ourselves if  our expectations of this new person are realistic.  We don’t stop to ensure that we are doing a good job of communicating what our needs/expectations of them are.  For many of us, we meet someone, we are in agreement that there is a connection and BAM we are full speed ahead and just assume that they are right there beside us.  I think that is why I feel in love with the way that Pearls and Panties retold the Tortoise and the Hare story in DD/lg style.  It really demonstrates how we can get ahead of ourselves.

Many Little’s think if a Daddy/Dom/Master is interested in us that he knows he must text Good Night/Morning EVERY day from the moment he say’s “I like/am interested in you”.  When that doesn’t happen…the Little becomes upset, hurt, and may even wallow in the “why doesn’t he care about me”.  We often convince ourselves that every Daddy/Dom/Master is aware of and by getting to know/dating us has agreed to adhere to this unwritten rule….is that expectation really realistic?

We expect them to give us undivided attention, tell us that we are pretty/beautiful/sexy to boost our confidence and make us feel like the most important thing in his world.  When he doesn’t, we spin out thinking we are not attractive to him.  Sometimes this leads into a melt down that our friends and loved one’s have to pick us up from. Again, is this expectation really realistic?

We expect this person to communicate on our level and in the exact same way that we do.   If they don’t….we tend to cry and pout in frustration. We call them names to our friends and hype ourselves up that they are posers and not real Daddy’s and then ask our stuffie friends why they view us as to much work and why they pull away from us.

We can be so wrapped up in our bubble of expectations that we don’t see the CRAY CRAY sign flashing above our heads.  We can be so convinced of what we think, that we don’t stop to ask the other person if this expectation is realistic for them or not.  We rush in from the “I like you” to the full blown THIS IS MY DADDY without even bothering to have the conversations that are needed.

Some of us are lucky enough to have good friends to tell us to slow down and get a grip. We have Daddy or Dom friends who understand this about the Little mentality that will act as that brick wall we need to run into at times to redirect us.  We have someone who can step in to remind us to give this person the chance to catch his breathe when he doesn’t know what is going on to redirect us himself.  Or if the guy in question is a new Daddy he may not know how to redirect an out of control Little in full on frenzy.

Personally, I think the most important thing that we as Little’s need to do when dating is ask ourselves the important questions and to in turn learn to ASK them of the Daddy/Dom/Master that we are interested in before we allow ourselves to have these expectations.  When we know what we expect from our partner and communicate it honestly, it not only allows them to know what we would like (our expectations) but to communicate back to us what he can give us (the reality) and we both have a clear understanding of what to expect going into our relationship.

This can be slow going but if you stop and think about it, not only does this establish good communication but it starts our journey to trusting each other with our feelings and emotions.  Communication and trust are vital to the foundation of any successful relationship and no matter how cute and lovable we are, without them we will never build a lasting DD/lg relationship that will be fulfilling to both us and our partner.

We also have to remember that this takes time and doesn’t happen overnight.  Yes, sometimes you find that person that you just organically become attached to and who just “gets you” but you still have to work at it if you want to make it last.  We have to work at being honest about our expectations and be willing to accept the realities whatever they may be.

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