D/s Dating · Little Dating

Q&A Share

I love when people who read my blog contact me with questions…love it even more when they do so to tell me that something has helped them or to simply inquire if I am ok after reading something that I wrote.  Today I got an email from a Little had a question regarding Mr. Goodnight

Question:  If your not sure if your in a relationship, if he finds you attractive, he forgets a date, and won’t tell you a bedtime story…why are you wasting your time?  Don’t settle for less than you deserve…you need another Daddy like Garrick.

So here is the the thing…Mr. Goodnight has his good parts as well and maybe I haven’t written enough about them.  For beginners, he isn’t an experienced Daddy so dealing with a regressive Little is new for him.  However, I can say that he treats my stuffie with the UTMOST respect when I have slept over.  He doesn’t “toss” him around but sets him gently in places where he is safe and comfortable.

When we are together, he often asks what I want, what I need….other side of that coin is I get frustrated with me that I am so focused on answering that I forget to ask the same in return.  When we are intimate, he is a very giving lover and always makes sure that I am satisfied and afterwards will stroke my hair/body saying soothing words and lets me know that he has me and I’m ok.  He makes me so safe that my mind shuts off and I drift away in the moment which I need.

I have a TON of respect for him because even though he is swamped at work with a deadline fast approaching, he went out of his way to ensure we text/chat, spoke and saw each other in the days following us becoming intimate.  He made sure to show me affection in non sexual ways so as to ensure that I knew that he was interested in more than just sex with me.

He would pull me close to cuddle while we watched TV and would give me hair kisses.  When he woke up and found my stuffie between us, he pulled me into his arms to snuggle into his chest and laid my stuffie between us so that he didn’t feel left out.  These small acts showed me that my feelings and my comfort were important to him.

In the time that we have spent together, I’ve come to realize that while we both are good at communicating our thoughts on the lifestyle and life in general, we don’t communicate the same way when expressing our thoughts, needs, and wants….i.e., we don’t speak the same Love Language.  So I have to be sure that I am looking at ALL pieces before I allow myself to fall off the deep end when something doesn’t happen or isn’t said as I would wish.  Yeah I know, it’s a shock but for the record, I DO FALL OFF THE DEEP END! (Giggle)

Sometimes I get annoyed because he hints at a darker nature but I’ve never seen it.  He asked “how rough is to rough” and yet, we have never talked safe word or even gotten close to the rough that I am craving and needing.  I get annoyed because I want to do things for him and to feel useful and he doesn’t allow me to.  Hell if left to my own devices on my off day I would have gladly cleaned his entire apartment (complete with Disney songs and animal) and felt 50 times better than when he said “no but thank you for offering”.

In the past I would have allowed my frustrations/insecurities to choose my words.  I would have pushed to have my way in my way and that’s not how it should be.  Doing that ALWAYS makes me feel HORRIBLE afterwards when I realize that I have done it.  So in an effort to change, I CHOOSE to not throw my crazy at him.

Instead, when I feel frustrated, angry, mad, or feel misunderstood I allow myself to vent in writing (to him in journal form) at the end of the day and store these writings in my Google Drive.  I write out my thoughts/feelings, then review them when I am calmer and address the real reasons/issues with him.  I don’t do it because he has asked me to but because it helps me to “write to him” rather than just unloading Little style.  I remind myself that even though we both have backgrounds in the lifestyle, our relationship interaction with each other is very much vanilla and I need to respond as such.

On the other hand, when we do have “talks” such as my fall out with my siblings or his desire/interest in Poly…he facilitated those conversations in a way to ensure that we both expressed our thoughts fully and that it was understood by the other as intended.  The dilemma in this is that while I respect his logic and leadership in facilitating the conversation.  I struggle at times because I forget to use active listening and instead internalize and get lost.  An example, he once said, “You have a certain way of viewing things”…when I ask if it’s good or bad, his reply was “It’s not good or bad”.  I couldn’t tell you anything said after that as I slipped into my Little place and pulled into my turtle shell hiding behind my big mask.

I could go on and on but the truth is, that while there are things that drive me crazy…there are things that I respect.  While there are things that annoy me, there are things that I like.  There are things that he does that leads me to think he has the potential to be a really good Daddy but as I haven’t seen the Dom side of him, I really don’t know.  That’s the problem when you have 2 people with busy hectic work schedules taking things slow and getting to know each other and 1 is Little.

I feel like we have a connection, I see potential but if I want to be His and to truly serve him I need to:

  • FOLLOW his lead/timeline and not try to force him to mine.
  • Be honest in my feelings about what is said and done between us
  • Be honest with myself about  the good and bad from his side as well as my own.

Doing this is how I will be able to answer the question of is he my Daddy Dom as well as let him know if I am the sub/slave for him.  If something is worth doing, it’s worth doing right and that takes time.  No matter now impatient my Little side feels about it (Giggle).


6 thoughts on “Q&A Share

  1. Some nice depth to this piece. I particularly like where you said “These small acts showed me that my feelings and my comfort were important to him.” Thanks for sharing this.
    Kindness – Robert.

    Liked by 1 person

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