When you say “I’m Little and Needy” in the D/s lifestyle…a lot of people will tell you that there is no such thing as a needy Little. People will tell you that it’s expected of you as a Little. You will even read things like this meme that will tell you that it’s what all Daddy’s want and need from their Little, it’s in fact WHY they are a Daddy in the first place.
So we relax and settle into being as needy as we can be, not really stopping to check ourselves or hold back, justifying it with “I’m a Little” rather than balancing this with “I’m a Little but not everyone wants to feed that need in the way that I WANT them to feed that need and when.
When it comes to dating and getting to know a new Daddy Dom, a lot of times we Little’s will say how “Needy” we are within the first few messages of getting to know someone and their response will be “no worries/issues, I love to give attention/affection”. We never stop to how needy can you accept? How many messages are to many in 1 hour…or even temper ourselves to start slow and build up.
Within a few days or a week, he may say “your too much, too clingy…” or maybe just ghost out without even a good bye and we are butt hurt, angry, and sometimes even a little MAD feeling as if we have been lied to or mislead. You will even see the Little pout and words such as “but I told him I could be too needy”.
The other day while I was touring my Fetlife groups I read something that really made me think about this.
Original Poster: …I was recently told, that as a little/kitten, I’m too clingy and needy. Of course, this really hurt my ‘little’ side.. In particular as it came from someone who I saw as a potential Daddy/partner….Is it fair to say that a little is too clingy/needy? Is it even possible for a little to be “too” anything?
Now most of the responses were telling her how there is no such thing as being to needy when your Little and even those who said that the guy obviously wasn’t a real Daddy. It ran the full gamit until one Daddy said something totally out of norm that blew me away and really made me THINK:
….This guy just wasn’t compatible with you. You may be what I like to call, highly communicative, as in – you like to communicate frequently throughout the day/night with your partner. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that! Just be upfront and communicate your needs. Be clear about your expectations and what you are looking for in a partner.
I have never thought about wording it this way. In the past I’ve said, “I’m VERY needy and tend to feel a need to reach out to my partner a LOT during the day, I don’t expect him to respond to every message, but it can be a bit much.” Of course I always get, “you can never be TO needy, your a Little and that’s what you do”.
For me, that is a green light to open the gates and run full steam ahead. Of course, I tell myself he is ok with it, that it’s expected as I’m a Little, that if he is a good Daddy and it bothers him, he will say something or correct me. When he doesn’t and things end, I of course, I end up feeling butt hurt and blaming him for not speaking up and pulling back into myself.
The comment above brought me up short and made me reflect on my communication of action with potentials in the past and the way that I worded things. It made me wonder, am I conveying my actions accurately or downplaying them to lure the Daddy type into my web hoping that he will find my Little to cute to be annoyed by this behavior?
Does “highly communicative” expresses what I do versus “too needy” and is it a better representation to action to allow a Daddy type to be better prepared for my onslaught? As I walk the path of my chosen journey, learning new ways to express myself is imperative to it’s success and as in many things, he have to learn new ways to get new results.