Why is it that so many think that it’s a good idea to buy/gift a stuff animal to a Little for a first date? It’s like, you’ve been talking for a little while and decide to meet up for drinks or dinner. I’m all hyped up and excited to meet them until they pull out this random stuffed animal and present it as a gift. I am often at a loss for words as I don’t even know what to say and they look disappointed that I’m not as excited as they expected me to be.
This was a conversation that I had a few nights ago with a gentleman in a chat room. He had presented his date with a stuffie and she forgot it in his car. When he took it to her on the 2nd date she still didn’t seem to impressed with it so he bought a different one for their 3rd date. He was at a loss as to WHY she wasn’t throwing herself into his arms jumping up and down.
My question to him was “why”. What about either of these bears made him think of her? Did he really know her well enough to choose something so intimate? “I wanted to give you something that would remind her of me”. Ok, WHY will this remind her of you, outside of the fact you gave it to her? He was quiet for a long time before saying he should have gone with flowers or candy (Giggle), I of course didn’t say “you got that right” but just let him mule it over for himself.
This has happened to me a NUMBER of times so i felt comfortable speaking from personal experience. I have never felt overwhelmed with happiness with this unknown stuffies but rather awkward as to what I am supposed to do with them once the date is over. You see, I have a stuffie and he is a VERY JEALOUS Bear. From the moment we met, he evoked very special feelings for me. So when a Daddy type gives me a new stuffie I always want to know WHY. What about this stuffie made you think of me, what made you think that this stuffie belonged to/with me? Give me a means of explaining to Polie who this new person is in our home and why they are there.
Often times, I’m able to politely decline their gift and it’s no harm or foul. Others, I will accept it and then re-gift it to someone else down the line ensuring that the poor Stuffie finds a good home. There has only been one time when a Daddy type kept bringing me a new stuffie each time we meet even after I explained WHY I didn’t want one. Let me say that in a weakened state I allowed myself to listen to Polie and there was a stuffie massacre in my bedroom with stuffing flying everywhere.
The carcasses were gathered with the stuffing, placed in a bag and all returned to him with money in an envelope to cover his cost/investment. I may have been called a few types of crazy for that at the time but a few months later he sent me a message saying he was in the wrong for not listening to what I was saying and actually got a good laugh over the contents of that bag before throwing it away.
So what would I tell you if your a Daddy type getting to know and starting to date a Little. DON’T BUY RANDOM STUFFIE’S!!!!! When you see one that shouts her name to you THEN you buy it. Share that with her and let her know that this stuffie jumped in your arms and BEGGED to be with her. Otherwise…buy the flowers (Giggle).
In all seriousness though, what I would want anyone reading this to take away is don’t put us in that box. We may be a cute Little that you are falling in love with but PLEASE don’t forget the MORE. We are also women…so if you are a guy who would normally take flowers to a vanilla date, then bring flowers. If you want it to be more of a lifestyle gift, then why not But in all honesty…why not buy flowers? Are we little yes, but we are still women who like to receive pretty flowers. If she likes to color then buy coloring supplies or a new coloring book. If she likes to read, a gift card to Barnes and Nobles even.
Get to know her as more than just a Little, treat her as such. Get to know when she is in little mode and when she isn’t and how she feels valued and cherished within both roles. This is how you get a woman who is a Little to fall in love and trust you, not random stuffie’s that you just pick up along the way.