I have written several times about my desire for a bedtime story but I have never written a post just about it. I woke this morning and found myself wondering if this is a kink or just a desire. I know that I have driven people crazy at times with my desire to hear a story, any story while I am trying to slide off into dream land. I don’t know why but if I climb into bed I am there for a couple of hours trying to wind my mind down. Let a man start to talk, telling a story or carrying on a conversation without the need for reply and I’m in my comfort zone and and slipping off to meet the sandman.
This goes back to when I was younger…my uncle would tell me about his day and I would nod off, he would rub my shoulder and tell me to get to bed. The MP would tell me story from time to time but if I was really wound up from a hard day he would pull me over his lap, spank me into tears and then hold me close as he told me a story. I had another who would do something similar. However, DK never could truly get comfortable with telling a story so most times I just let him talk about boring work stuff.
I had pretty much given up on the idea of finding a Daddy who wouldn’t mind telling me a story before bed after DK, hell even the Teacher (bless his special heart) had a problem rising to the occasion. Okay now he could rise to the OTHER occasion but when it came to telling me a story the man had performance problems (giggle, he’s shaking his head while he reads this). It wasn’t that he didn’t want to but that it just wasn’t something he could readily do. Most of the Dom’s I know find this to be challenging to them.
So here is the funny thing…I made a new friend on Fetlife who is a new Daddy. He lives in CA and we text/chat when we can. About the second night we “talked” I started nodding off and he told me to go to sleep. My natural response was to ask him to tell me a story. There was a pause and then he told me that he didn’t know anything but offered to look something up while I finished getting ready for bed. And that he did. (Here is the post from that night)
You would think that I would have felt weird to ask him to do this considering we have never spoken about our kinks or even talked in a sexual manner. I like that about him, he may be new but he will make someone a really good Daddy when he finds his little. I also love the fact that he is honest about being new and not that much experience. When I asked him if he minds telling me stories at night he said its nice practice. I even commented that its practice for him to find his “Daddy tone” and he didn’t get mad at all (he is still so soft spoken and sweet when telling me to shut it -giggle-)
Last night he was beat down tired and still, he let me vent, told me story and even put me in my place by telling me to close it and go to sleep. I know that I need to give him a break tonight and let him sleep but I’m like a little kid on a sugar rush…gonna ride this story wagon until the wheels fall off 8-D.
And now, here is my friend’s thoughts on being a new Daddy telling stories for the first time…I guess I really need to come up with a name for him on here (giggle)
I have been asked to compose my thoughts on reading bedtime stories to a little for Ms. Selina’s blog. Perhaps Ms. Selina is interested in knowing how a Daddy evolves from a Top, as it provides her some insight into her own journey.
For me, it’s been an interesting exploration and great practice. I tend to be perceived as too permissive, usually by self proclaimed brats who claim they need a very strict and strong Daddy who will put them in their place before they get too out of control. For those who don’t know me, (all of you at this point) I practice meditation, have an interest in psychology and philosophy of mind, and describe myself as empathic. I introspect to the degree that I have been accused of being obsessive. I say: So What. I enjoy exploring my inner space and I enjoy exploring other peoples inner space as well. Although, I have decided that at some point I will intentionally change my demeanor, so that my outward way of communicating will become more akin to the classic strong , quiet, and stoic man. I will still have all of the insight I have gained and I will still spend time deconstructing, but only very special people will get to see it. But, for now, I am happy to share thoughts and debate their source and meaning.
As Ms. Ms. Selina has probably already commented, an act of service is one of the love languages as defined by Gary Chapman. Like bathing your girl, reading bedtime stories to her is an act of service. Especially if it helps her to go to sleep at a reasonable hour. 😉 As such this activity serves to strengthen the bond between the two of you.
Of the handful of times I have read to her Ms. Ms. Selina always wants to talk for some time before the story starts. Many times I have been accused of allowing her to ramble on too long thereby not doing my duty in getting her to sleep at an earlier time.
Having some experience with insomnia myself, and a reasonable understanding of the cognitive stages that lead up to sleep. I tend to allow her to have her stream of consciousness prior to settling down to the story. There is a rationale behind this. Think of it this way. You know how men in relationships often complain about coming home from a long day at work only to be inundated with a chatty wife who will not shut up and let them wind down. Well there is a reason behind this behavior. I myself have a mind that is difficult to quiet when it is time to lay down and drift off to slumber. All of the days unresolved issues still linger nagging for attention of your conscious mind. Allowing a person to speak these thoughts out to another person, even if they are not fully formed or phrased correctly, frees them from the mind. If this is not done often sleep itself is disrupted with stress dreams or an unwelcome sense of anxiety.
It has been of some benefit to myself as well, as I am also afforded a structured opportunity to take my mind off of the day. But, I have to admit that on an occasion I should have cut it short earlier. However, I am beginning to pick up cues that tell me when it is time. The cutest are the yawns that begin to interrupt the train of thought like little puffs of smoke. Also when I can no longer trace the current thought phrase back to the one that incited it then I know it should be shortly coming to an end.
I have also had the rather pleasant opportunity to practice saying “no.” Or simply taking action as to avoid the “but I want to know more about you”, or the “but I have a another question” trap. 🙂
In short it has been a fun and enlightening exercise. One I hope to continue with whomever becomes my little girl.