Well I am writing this a little hung over, throat sore from laughing, and feeling like a new woman. Mookie ran away from home and got here yesterday morning. It was funny because one minute I am trying to figure out how to start my day and the next I am being called to the airport to pick up a package. I’m thinking its weird but then thought maybe it was my daughter so I went. I got there to find Mookie sitting on the curb with a sign that said “My Bestie is named Lucy”. I still say she is Lucy and I’m Ethel but I feel out laughing just the same.
We spent the day on the couch watching Netflix and having a geek day while playing “Where’s Mookie” with Big Mike…she is SO DEAD when she gets home -giggle-. But it meant a lot that even though we haven’t talked in a few weeks and have said some hateful things she is still my ride or die. We went out last night and did some line dancing and flirting and I was reminded once again for a big girl…I am kind of sexy when I want to be.
But she reminded me of something important that I lost track of. Yeah it sucks that things with Garrick didn’t work out but I realized A LOT about myself that I would not have realized had I not fallen in love with him….
- I am more than just a babygirl/Little/Brat
- I am a good submissive when I want to be
- I do have some slave desires that I need to have fulfilled in a relationship and there is nothing wrong with that.
- I can love a Dom and not be in a D/s relationship with him.
I got so wrapped up in the feelings that he invoked in me that I went a little sub crazy and that is okay also. I know to slow it down and take my time next time and I also no that I am capable of so much more than I give myself credit for. Reading other blogs I’ve learned that there are also other forms of Poly and that Mookie’s desire for me to join her and Big Mike wasn’t the betrayal that I viewed it to be but a sincere compliment extended to me by people who not only love each other but love me as well.
She has always been Bi but that doesn’t mean I have to be. She will always be my bestie even if I don’t join them. I just have to communicate with her as honestly and openly as I want her to communicate with me and who knows what the future holds for me. I will tell you that she has been busy during our down town putting me out on a couple of websites I have NEVER heard or of thought of and well….it’s been an interesting conversation through the night.
I have to go and wake my fellow Super Villain for brunch with my Neighbor “The Marine” and I’m thinking…maybe a little vanilla to hold me over wouldn’t be so bad. Got an itch that needs to be scratched and its been a couple of weeks since Garrick and I played, why not feed Belita a juicy Marine to hold her over -giggle-
My wounds are licked, and healing nicely…its time to put this wagon back on the rails and have some fun LOL