A week ago tonight I made the decision to end things with Garrick and climbed aboard the pity party train. I licked my wounds for the weekend and then on Monday I told myself I had put my big girl panties on and was moving forward. However I had to be real with myself today and admit that I was holding.
For what I don’t know but I was. I didn’t really realize it until I found myself sitting in my bed reading old messages and for the first time really owning how much I miss him. Its okay that I miss him, it’s okay that I feel that emptiness that is there because of it. It’s okay that in my mind he is still “Daddy” first and Garrick second.
It’s okay and I am okay because I am moving forward. I got 3.5 of that 5 lb pity party off, I’m on day 5 of the 30 day Squat challenge and I went a whole day without the urge to call to check on him. Doesn’t mean I don’t miss him or still want him but just that I am putting that one foot in front of the other and moving forward.