So yesterday my oldest came over and kidnapped me to to go see Frozen. Now I know it may seem stupid to some but my little was UBBER happy for the distraction and it helped to close the loop in a way. I realized when your teenage has to come and get you out of the house, then you have hit rock bottom, I’m sure her dad or step mother may have given her the hint but still.
I had my pity party this weekend and I think in a way its a good thing that Garrick didn’t call or text because I probably would have lost it, begged him to forgive my stupidity, and to try again. I think that not hearing from him made it easier for me to focus on all the reasons that we should just be friends and walk away from the DD/bg dynamic for us.
However, I will also say that it was so AWESOME the outpour of support I have found here among my fellow bloggers and I can’t thank you all enough for that. It was just what I needed to temper the stupidity that flowed from Fetlife. All I did was removed the link to Daddy…Garrick as my Daddy and owner and removed my ABOUT ME information simply saying it would be redone at another time. Someone PLEASE tell me why 8 different guys sent me messages asking if I needed a shoulder to cry on and how they would be happy to be my new Daddy. REALLY? UGH vultures!
I think my decision to stay off of Fetlife for now was the right one. It is such a meat market and a breeding ground for stupidity at so many junctions. For now, I think I just need to focus on making myself a better submissive and learning me. I need to take what went wrong with Daddy…Garrick (I really need to get that straight in my head) and process it so as not to carry it forward with me.
I started my new job and it sucked that I didn’t get to talk to him this morning and tell him and it will take some effort to not text him to check on him and see how he is doing but I’ve got this…I’m going t put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. Now I’m going to warn you, there could be melt downs coming but for now…for now I feel strong and capable and ready to take on the world. Lets see how this goes at the end of the day shall we?