Well I made it through Day 1 and quiet proud of myself for only breaking down in tears once. I started the day with my work out and had the pleasure of weighing in (missed it on saturday due to my pity party) and realizing I put on 5.3 lbs this weekend…all I could do was look at the scale and shout REALLY like it was going to answer back. Did my work out and actually felt good for having got it done.
I went home to get ready to start my day and out of habit checked our couples app to see if there was any messages from Daddy….Garrick and nope and my last 3 are still unread as well. It was weird to start my day not talking to him but being that I haven’t talked to him since last week, it was easier to adjust to just still…I wanted to hear his voice. I wanted to play with him…I wanted to hear his voice as I got myself off and then got in the shower. It took a little bit to sort though it but I got dressed and went into work.
I spent the whole day wondering what he was doing and if he was thinking of me…I got a generic email from him apologizing for being quiet, didn’t address any of the messages that I sent him or that I wanted to end it. I have to admit my heart jumped into my chest at first hoping it was something heart felt asking me to come back, saying he needed me…I am such a silly Kitty.
I wrote 12 text messages to him today…I deleted them before I sent them thankfully but the urge was still there and hard to resist. Pictures on my phone from Tumblr that I had saved to send to him later…gods I am such a dork! But I didn’t give in to that temptation so I think I am good…okay that is a lie, I did send 1 text to ask how he was feeling…its pathetic when you lie to your self. He didn’t respond so I’m guessing that’s a good thing.
Either way, I am off to the shower, then to bed and thankful for this first “Normal” day to be over and to have made it through. There is light at the end of heart break tunnel…just gotta keep my eyes on that and I will be good.