Journal: Jan 1, 2013 (Light Bulb)

lion-cub-peeking-from-grass_27534_600x450It’s been a few months since I decided to stop fighting the urges that I feel and give in…give in to the cravings and give into the pleasure of it.  For so long I was told that Good Girls do this and didn’t do that…it really warped my brain.  Ah but life in the 80’s right.  I mean, it’s time for me to face the facts that I like a little pain with my sex…lets just sum it up and say I love it when a man dominates me.

Realizing this I began to look inside myself to see what was staring back at me and it was a jumble of needs, wants, and desires.  I thought back to when I was last happy in a relationship and I had to admit to myself that it was when I was with strong dominant man who took great pleasure in reminding me that I was his to protect, his to love, and his to do with as he pleased.

Which brought my to light bulb # 1 – I am attracted to Alpha Males…men who take charge in the right way.  Who while not perfect are perfect for me flaws and all.  I  had it before but I wasn’t ready and let fear drive me away from it.  Well not any more.  I know what I want, how I want and will not settle for vanilla any longer.

I’m not going to try to find it on the down low and hope that my family and friends don’t find out.  I am going to allow my feline to hunt for what we want and I will not stop until I find it.  I will hunt and I will search and in the end I will be safe in Daddy’s arms and there will be no place else I would rather be.


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